Top 8 reasons to believe Hello Kitty is a vampire

Hello Kitty, everyone’s favorite pussy, just turned 35 this month. As internationally loved and adored as she is for being a cultural icon for cute, I’m totally convinced that Hello Kitty is actually a vampire. Whether you love Hello Kitty or not, here are my top reasons to believe Hello Kitty is a vampire:

1. How many 35 year olds do you know has looked this cute for this long? Yeah, didn’t think so.

2. Hello Kitty is VERY good at glamoring and/or dazzling us into doing things. Proof? She’s helped bring in over a billion dollars in revenue for Sanrio.

3. Homes, jets, beer, AK47s… there’s no escaping Hello Kitty. She’s everywhere.

4. Sure, she doesn’t have a mouth. But what if it’s all a front? Not every vampire has visible fangs. She also tends to suck the life out of my wallet.

5. She’s probably friends with Kuromi, My Melody’s archrival. Seriously, have you seen Kuromi? She just looks like a vampire AND she has a mouth:

6. Hot Topic thinks so. Hot Topic loves vampire franchises. Please don’t ask me which one I’m talking about. I think you know.

Unfortunately, this t-shirt is sold out, but you can scour Ebay for it. (Sold out, meaning…other people are convinced she’s a vampire too.)

7. I don’t think I need to explain this, really:

8. This is pretty self-explanatory.

What do you swans think? Is Hello Kitty a vampire?