SwanDiary New Moon Special: The lazy swan’s guide to the Twilight Saga so far

With all the media hoopla surrounding The Twilight Saga, how could it not be a daunting task to play catch-up? Almost everyday on the hour, a new Twilight-related news article, image or video surfaces. Keeping up-to-date with Twilight can be such a turn-off for the lazy swan. Take me for example: I love shoes. Like, a lot. I have this tendency to subscribe to shoe retailer newsletters that end up going to the trash. How could I do such a thing to something I supposedly love? If my shoe newsletter dilemma is how you feel about the Twilight Saga, here’s a quick at-a-glance guide that will help you get up to speed before you watch New Moon.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

- Takes place in Forks, Washington where the sun don’t shine. Perfect if you happen to named Bella Swan and you’re the new kid in town who will prove herself to be an outsider attracted to…outsiders.
- Outsiders? The Cullens. Beautiful family of vampires. Of the most beautiful is Bella’s love-interest, Edward Cullen.
- Vampires in the Twilight Saga…kind of different. You may find this repulsive, but they don’t die in the sun. They glitter. Really hard. They also each have unique powers that range from mind-reading to super speed. Vampires of the Cullen variety don’t really feast on human blood — they’re vampire vegetarians.
- While the wheels of love begin to turn between Edward and Bella, mysterious murders happen in the sleepy town of Forks. Well, not so mysterious. I’ll give you one hint: vampires.
- In a game of vampire baseball (don’t ask), the Cullen Clan along with Bella have a fierce encounter with a set of vampires that are not of the vegetarian sort. One vampire becomes obsessed with Bella, so they all flee to Bella’s hometown in Arizona to protect her.
- The protecting bit doesn’t work out entirely and a showdown in a ballet studio between the vegetarians and the one non-vegetarian vampire obsessed with Bella. Lover-boy vegetarian wins, of course.
- Bella and Edward attend prom and mushy things are exchanged in addition to Edward proclaiming that he’s against the idea of “turning her.” Bella’s friend Jacob briefly pays a visit just to keep watch on her. The question of why is what helps segue way into New Moon. I know why, but I’m not telling.
- Roll movie credits and we see that a non-vegetarian vampire has been spying on the two from a window above them. DRAMA.

Having read this far, you’re now officially ready for New Moon. Stay tuned this week for my review of New Moon!