Yesterday marked the season premiere of Vampire Diaries and it was legit one hour of ohmygod. If you missed you, shame on you, but make the jump for what went down.

What Happened This Week: This episode’s rightfully titled, “The Return,” as it marks Katherine’s return to Mystic Falls. We start out with the last couple of minutes from season one’s finale, you know, Katherine coming back, chopping off Uncle John’s fingers, all in all creating total disorder within the time span of five minutes. Elena comes home and finds Uncle John on the kitchen floor, bleeding insanely. As Elena fervently tries to stop the blood flow, John tries to warn her of Katherine and there’s this moment where Katherine does her super-vampire-speed-out-of-the-house trick.

Not that the house was quiet for long. Stefan soon walks in and Elena takes him up to Jeremy’s room, Uncle John now all but forgotten. Elena’s worried that Jeremy might have turned to a vampire thanks to some pills and a vial of Anna’s blood, but Stefan says not to worry. Apparently Jeremy didn’t take enough pills to die, and the blood merely healed him faster. La-ame! Elena leaves Stefan to babysit Jeremy, much to the latter’s displeasure, while she goes off to tend to Uncle John.

On the other side of Mystic Falls, Damon learns of Mayor Lockwood’s death, and he is at a loss as to why both father and son Lockwood were affected by the Gilbert machine. Hello? Werewolf? Do I really need to spell it out for you guys? Caroline was severely injured from the Tyler’s car crash and a certain witch was feeling slightly guilty. After all, if Bonnie had fixed the device, Tyler would’ve never been affected by it, right? So as a result of Bonnie’s urging (of all people), Damon gives Caroline some of his blood and she starts recovering miraculously fast.

Back at home, Katherine shows up at the Gilbert house and meets Stefan. They have this almost kiss but wait, Stefan realizes it’s not Elena and out comes the vampire moves moment. Honestly, I know that both Katherine and Elena are both played by the same person, but Katherine is just so much more fun to watch. She’s like the female version of Damon. Tangent aside, Elena finds out about Katherine coming back and Stefan finds out about Damon kissed Katherine thinking Katherine was Elena. Ooh, Stefan got ma-ad (but so would you if you found out your brother was snogging your girlfriend, right?).

Elena and Stefan go to visit Uncle John, who tells them absolutely nothing except that Katherine was his daughter? Must’ve missed that memo there. Elena leaves John in disgust and Stefan’s bad boy switch flips on. He forces his blood into John’s system and warns him to leave Mystic Falls ASAP, or else he’d turn him into a vampire and watch him destroy himself through self-hatred. A very Damon move, if you ask me. On the other hand, at the Lockwood funeral, a certain Mason Lockwood returns to the Mystic Falls and something tells me he’s going to be guiding our Tyler on the path of werewolf self-discovery.

The rest of the episode was pretty much dedicated to Katherine wreaking havoc everywhere. First she comes to the funeral and meets Bonnie. Bonnie figures it out immediately and tries to fight her using her vampire mind hurting powers that worked on Damon, but not Katherine. Stefan comes in the nick of time and the two vampires go on a stroll along Lockwood property. Stefan tries to get Katherine to tell him why she was in Mystic Falls, to which Katherine replies by saying something along the lines of, “I love you.” Stefan tells Katherine that he, in fact, hates her and in anger, Katherine drives this metal rod through his stomach. Where did she get that?

Katherine then leaves to tempt Damon, kiss or kill? Damon obviously chooses the first one and there’s this short make out scene before Damon has to ask the question and Katherine has to give the wrong answer. Between Damon and Stefan, Katherine’s always loved Stefan. My heart is going out to the poor guy right now. Damon goes to Elena’s house, suffers more pain because Elena tells him that she’d always love Stefan, and in a fit of sadness, kills Jeremy. Amazingly, I still felt bad for the poor guy, he definitely deserves more love. Jeremy didn’t die because Uncle John had given him his ring right before he left Mystic Falls, but Elena now hates Damon. Come on! What happened to staying united against Katherine?

So much action and plot, but we’re not done yet. Katherine has one more move to make, and it’s on our dear Caroline. She finds Caroline in the hospital and tells her, “My name is Katherine. I was hoping you could give the Salvatore brothers a message for me: Game on.” Caroline barely has any time to understand before she’s suffocated by a pillow. Now my first thought was, “Ohmygod Katherine killed Caroline Forbes!” And then my second thought was, “But no! She has Damon’s blood in her system!”

But there we have it guys. Watch out for the second episode, Brave New World, next Thursday on the CW at 8/7c.